I am a spiritual coach and take you straight to the door, with no name. This door cannot be opened with a key, secret codes or any force. Our clever ideas are of no use. First step is to become aware that we live in the land of dreams – body, mind and emotions. I will be guiding you to recognise the source of your being. This Silent Awareness.
Traditional spiritual teachers take you step by step on the road to the door and focus first on your personality and all the problems that come with believing that the “I“ is all there is. This can mean many years of therapy or many different spiritual practices. This process fits in with what we are already doing in our day-to-day life. We have been taught to become “somebody”, and that survival and success are all what life is about. We feel we will be fulfilled if we become this or that, or make lots of money, or if we have a soul-mate relationship. You can fill in the blanks for yourself: What do you believe is going to make you happy? And what do you believe you have to do or become to reach this happiness?
Just let me tell you about my experience and what happened in my life when I reached a point where I started to question. I developed a physical problem not long after I was born. Nobody knew what was going on. So a long process of diagnoses, treatment hospitalizations and medications followed. When I was five years old, a diagnosis was found. This was the start of seven years of hospitalization, and it would fill a book if I went into the rest of this journey of my childhood, something for another time. Altogether, I spend 23 years of my life in hospitals and institutions and ended up spastic-paralyzed from the chest down and in a wheelchair. I finally got the message from the doctors that I had only a few more years to live. At this point I said, “Enough is enough, I am going to try alternative healing”. For me, this wasn’t easy way, but I wanted to live and love before I died. After six years of intense physical and emotional therapy, I started walking again. I can tell you it took all the will power I had to fight myself out of this wheelchair.
Wow! I thought – now I have achieved what I believed would make me happy. I could not believe it – here I was, sitting in my own flat, able to walk again. But where was the happiness, the pot of gold on the end of my rainbow? I always believed if I worked hard I could fight my way out of the suffering and the darkness of my life, and that light, love and peace would be the prize. But when I saw that I was wrong. I cried and cried, and I began asking, if not this, what is life about?
It became clear to me that doing, becoming and achieving is not the path to happiness. I played for a little while with the idea that perhaps a man and family will make me whole and happy, or a career. But I saw that this was just another pie-in-the-sky story I was telling myself to achieve this love or success story.
No – I sensed there must be something else, but what?
I am lucky that I was given a personality that never gives up, and kept searching for the Truth. And this was the beginning of my spiritual search: The journey to find ”The light”,” enlightenment”, peace, or whatever other ideas, concept and names I collected on my travels. My search lasted for 20 years. I, like Alice, found wonderland. Not through doing or knowing but by falling into nothingness and finding everything.